Reactions to traumatic events, Part 1

Reactions to traumatic events, Part 1 What's to be expected. Men.The other day I spoke with a man? N boy, I know well. He is the spokesman, smooth and easy, hard drinker and intellectually astute man. We were on the phone and I had never heard him sound so down. ? What? S? I asked very carefully, do not sound worried. ? Hey doc. He said trying to remain optimistic. ? Yup. I answered as casually. ? Hey doc. He repeated. ? The strangest thing that has happened to me today. I was angry with some shoddy work that my assistant and I started talking with her and on it ya? know what? I started to cry. Just crying like a baby. And then? continued? When I have my head, I began to cry again. Hey doc, what do you think? S? Joke, I replied. ? It is nice to know you? Once again people, Bill. Even men have a strong feeling, and you can cry. I think that your heart is sad and all images of aircraft penetrating building strong just for you. Scream if you want, or angry or afraid. It 'very human and strong will. Hey, let? S meet and talk later, ok? ? Yes? he said. ? How about tomorrow or the next few days? ? Of course,? I replied, but I was already there when I could be in a "squeeze talk.Everywhere more I go, I meet men in pain, people who do not speak or cry. Man stunned at their own level of pain or fear. Men in our society, have an easier time angry, as the admission of vulnerable feelings. The intense pain experienced by the recent invasion of terrorism, fear and feeling of loss of feelings are not many men are used for parts. We live in a world where most people still sucks that John Wayne and drive off as heroic image, and if they are injured or sobbing, they are often surprised and embarrassed. Many men prefer the hole in their equivalent of a safe cove and suffer alone. Achieve and not to mention stronger suit.The destruction of New York? S Twin Towers and the Pentagon apparently invincible, as the death of those who traveled by plane hijacked broke too many men? S usual defenses. If you do not feel like the most mode and cave men are wounded, angry and afraid. Come the tears unexpected time, and are surprised.Over time, these men have a wide range of feelings. And, depending on what happens in the coming weeks, in the form of retaliation, the war, the capture of the enemy and closed, their feelings change. But ladies, beware. Be nice to your kids. This is the first time, many of them have their hearts tip. Deal with their experiences with respect. Knowing that for many of them, not how to react to. Give them space and love, and when we talk, listen. It takes a long time for us all to heal. And the kids tend to heal differently than women. Meanwhile, I meet my friend tomorrow. He still sounds whiny. But when asked, he swears he? S OK. We? Ll see what happens dinner. At this point, I did not really? T know how go.Life is too difficult to do alone, Dr. D. Lynn Dorree, Ph.D. The author Dorree Dr. Lynn is co-founder of the Institute of Advanced Studies of Psychotherapy and a practicing physician in New York and Washington, DC. Dr. Lynn served on the Board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is in the drafting of the publication of the votes. It 'also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetown. Dr. Lynn is a popular and well known speaker on the lecture circuit.